Blood Suckers
Three vampires walk into a bar.
The waitress comes up to them and asks them what they'll have.
The first vampire says, (Transylvanian accent inferred) "I'll have a glass of O Positive."
The second vampire says, "I'll have a glass of AB Negative."
The third vampire says, "I'm the designated driver. I'll just have a glass of plasma."
The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells, "Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!"
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There was a very old man who was lying upstairs dying.
His grand daughter came in and said "Hi Grandpa" , "Hi little sweetie" he said.
"Say, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?" "Yes" she replied.
"Do you think you can sneek down stairs and get a couple for me?" "Sure" she replied.
In a few minutes, the little girl came back with a frown on her face. Grandpa asked, "What's wrong? "
" Grandma wouldn't let me have any, she says they are for after the funeral."
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